When you walk into our office, you will see this powerful quote hanging on our wall, because it so accurately describes our story.
“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”
― L.R. Knost
If you haven’t heard our origin story, we’d love for you to take a few minutes to check it out here. In short, it’s a “widow meets widower” kind of love story, one only God could write. We’ve walked through deep pain, but we’ve also stood in awe as Jesus turned our hardest seasons into something breathtakingly beautiful. He is the Master at taking something hard and turning it into something beautiful and what He’s done in our lives is nothing short of a miraculous love story.
We had no idea where the journey would take us when we split that first waffle on our very first date at Waffle House. Yes, you know you are from the south when your first date is booth 18 at a Waffle House! When we said yes to one another, we were also saying yes to blending our families into one. We had very little knowledge and experience with blending, but hey, “how hard could it be?”
Honestly, neither of us grew up in a blended family, so most of what we “knew” came from the hit TV show we watched as kids, The Brady Bunch!
If you missed that one, it had a great opening song that told their story!
If you know it, sing it with us:
Here’s the story of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold like their mother
The youngest one in curls
It’s the story of a man named Brady
Who was busy with three boys of his own
They were four men living all together
Yet they were all alone
‘Til the one day when the lady met this fellow
And they knew that it was much more than a hunch
That this group must somehow form a family
That’s the way we all became the Brady bunch
“The Brady Bunch” was a blended family, but the show really didn’t focus on the complexities of blending. Somehow that show shaped our mindset that ALL families were pretty much the same. That conclusion was WAY off and over the last few years, that antiquated way of thinking had to be reframed, reshaped and reprogrammed.
We recognize that every blending situation is unique and has its own complexities. We don’t know what it means to walk through the pain of divorce. Our blending is a result of terminal illnesses. We also have no experience with young children. Our kids are all adults, some have their own children and we are empty nesters. No matter your origin story, I do believe there are guiding principles we can all apply to our individual stories.
As Christians, prayer and God’s Word have been critical to our blending journey. Only God knows the hours of prayer that have been lifted up for our family. Those prayers have been answered in so many ways and we have experienced what we believe is the miracle of blending.
The miracle of blending is a central focus of the Gospel message.
According to Ephesians 1:5 (NLT), “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”
We even see the miracle of blending in regards to marriage. Mark 10:8-10 (NLT) says, “and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
God cares deeply about your blended family! And while we don’t know everything about blending families, we want to share with you some powerful steps we have taken that have been a huge help in the blending process. We believe they will help you as well!
- Pray bold prayers.
As Pastor Mark Batterson writes, “Bold prayers honor God and God honors bold prayers.”
Praying bold prayers isn’t about trying to convince God to do something He doesn’t want to do. It’s about aligning our heart, mind and life with HIM. However, we are convinced that bold prayers move the heart of God.
In fact, that is the central message of James 5:16b, “The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”
When you seek and pursue God with passion, things happen! In other words. complain less, and take more prayer walks. You might log some serious miles, but you’ll be amazed at what starts to shift when you trust the Lord with every detail of your life. If it matters to you, it matters to Him. And never forget, He is a God who can always be trusted!
- Worship like crazy.
You can worry or you can worship. We choose to worship. There is an amazing thing that happens when we worship. Not only can situations change, but WE can change.
Colossians 3:12 says, “Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
Paul is pointing back to the same attributes we know as the Fruit of the Spirit. These are not natural responses to life, instead, these are supernatural works of the Holy Spirit that come when we spend time with Jesus.
The closer you are to Him, the more you become like Him. We can’t always choose our circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them!
Choose in advance that you will be full of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Even when you are tired, frustrated and angry because someone doesn’t respond the way you want them to,
PRE-DECIDE to respond the right way, even if the WRONG thing happens.
- Let go of perfection.
You may experience challenges, frustrations and set-backs. Don’t seek perfection, instead, seek to be a healthy blended family that loves Jesus!
Colossians 3:13 says, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
There are going to be moments that are painful, so forgive quickly. Keep short accounts. Refuse to allow any root of bitterness to destroy what God is doing in your home.
- Love big and serve.
1 John 3:18-19 (NLT) says, “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.
We all have different traditions, experiences and methods of doing pretty much everything! There is ONE THING that binds us. We are all pursuing the same purpose.
We seek to LOVE JESUS BIG and point others to Him.
We love God and we love others. No matter how many differences we may have, our love is what binds us together.
True love isn’t selfish. Be INTENTIONAL to demonstrate your love through your ACTIONS.
True love gives more than it takes.
True love is about SERVING OTHERS!
- Don’t you dare give up.
God has an incredible purpose and plan for your life. But you need to know this: opposition is inevitable. You will face battles along the way. You will face moments of fear, doubt, and insecurity. But those moments do not define you. What truly defines you isn’t your past, your mistakes, or what others say, it’s what God’s Word declares about you.
Lean in and listen to the words of Ephesians 1:11 (The Message) closely, “It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living…”
Those words so beautifully remind us that our identity and purpose are in Jesus and that He has always had us in mind, long before we ever knew Him!
So, fight for your purpose! Stand firm in the calling God has placed on your life. Pray. Stay grounded in God’s Word. Surround yourself with people who will love you and fight for you.
And whatever you do, NEVER GIVE UP!
The dreams God has placed in your heart are worth fighting for!
We absolutely love the message of Galatians 6:9. It says, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”
And finally, celebrate every win!
Colossians 3:15 says, “And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.”
In our home, we call that “celebrating the wins,” and we celebrate every one! When you are blending, hold on to every little thing you see God do in your family. Don’t miss one opportunity to thank Him for what He’s doing and celebrate big!
Our favorite way to celebrate? Ice cream! And we eat a lot of it, because we are extremely grateful!
Meet Anthony & Shannen
Shannen Fields Braswell is an award winning actress, producer, model, and inspirational speaker. Anthony Braswell is a pastor, inspirational speaker, content creator and leadership coach. We lost our late spouses to terminal illnesses within 8 weeks of each other. We both made the decision to heal forward and make each day count. As we took those steps, God allowed our paths to cross and our new friendship quickly turned into our very own miraculous love story. Together, we have been married a combined 55 years and have used that experience to create Uncover Marriage. We have also launched Healing Forward Ministries, a non-profit organization to offer financial assistance to widows and fund content and experiences designed to reverse the epidemic of divorce that is sweeping the globe. We love to inspire others with hope and equip couples to experience the marriage of their dreams!
For more info, visit anthonyandshannen.com.
