“Peggy, can you help me pick out a shirt to match with this?” asks my color-deficient husband on a Sunday morning, as we’re preparing for church services.

Such a simple request, right?

But when my husband’s small need is thrown into the mix of an extremely hectic Sunday morning – where I’m trying to clothe and feed the kids (now grandkids), getting ready myself, or gathering any number of things together that I need to take to church – my unguarded reaction has the potential of becoming the tiny dart the enemy throws to totally disrupt our peace.

And why does Satan scheme to upset the peace in a pastor’s marriage and family? Because he’s targeting leaders!! He knows full well that a pastor is about to bring truth-filled words of life, hope, and encouragement to his congregation, so he wants to discourage, disarm, and divide every ministry couple in any way he can.

I wish I could tell you that in 38 years of pastoral ministry, my husband and I have never had an argument before church. But that would be a lie. However, we have become wiser to the enemy’s schemes, as we continue watching and working at not giving him any place or space in our marriage. Let me suggest a few simple ideas that may help you too:

1. Plan ahead. The day before your services, prepare as many practical things ahead of time as you can. Disruptions will always come (staff or volunteers call in sick, etc.), but early preparations over the things you can control will help minimize confusion.
   
   
2. Pray together. On Sunday morning before getting out of bed, join hands and pray to dedicate yourselves and this day to the Lordship of Christ. Pray Philippians 4:7 over yourselves, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ.”
   
   
3. Don’t be easily offended. The teeny-tiniest offense can steal our unity if we let it. We must choose to walk in quick forgiveness and grace toward each other. We ALL need grace.
   
   
4. Choose your words carefully. I typically wake up with a heart full of words to share. However, on Sunday mornings, when my husband is preparing to preach, I know he needs quiet and calm. So, I consciously choose not to be chatty and keep conversation to a minimum. Look out Sunday afternoon though!!!! 😊
   
   
5. Set a worshipful atmosphere at home. Play soft worship music in your home. This invites the Lord’s presence into your hearts and home and sets a tone of reverential sweetness in our interactions with one another. This helps our family prepare for corporate worship too!
   
   
6. Reject fear. Ministry couples can at times be worried about how things are going to go at church. Will the church staff be at their best? Will people come? Will the service flow? Will volunteers have servants’ hearts? Will people respond to accept Christ? But, according to 2 Timothy 1:7, “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” Fear can cause us to act in ways that defeat us personally and create disunity in our marriage even before we ever step foot in the sanctuary. That’s why we’re called to reject fear and trust God with our hearts, our marriages, our families, and His church!
   

I can honestly say that I haven’t perfected any of this, but because I keep “practicing,” I’m growing, learning, and seeing incredible victories in these areas of my life where too often I’ve felt defeated. We can all find greater joy, freedom, and fruitfulness in ministry as we work at guarding our hearts, our marriages, and our families. Blessings!

– Written by Peggy Morris
Peggy and her husband live in Seminole, FL and have served in ministry together for 38 years.