A four-part blog series
Part One:
Eyes Wide Open: Three Undercurrents of the Culture That Are Pulling Your Family Down
When you get married and start a family, there are things about your spouse that you learn as you blend your individual lives together as one. Some of them you instantly love and other things become annoyances or things you “just have to get used to.”
My husband tells me that I sleep with one eye slightly open. I, of course, deny this accusation. The reality is that as Christians, we have to live with eyes wide open. I Peter 5:8 tells us to “ Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
This is the reality we live in. Our families are under direct attack from the enemy and we must be alert and paying attention. This is not something that we can sleep on. Our family culture is being formed by default or design. We cannot afford to sit back and think that we are creating a Kingdom Culture in our homes if we aren’t on the offensive. I want to talk about 3 undercurrents that are pulling our families down and how we can be alert to them and trust the Lord with our homes.
- Fluidity of Truth.
The “new morality” for this generation is a person finding and being their true self. Although our homes are constantly changing because each person in it is changing, the truth doesn’t change. Our culture tells us the opposite. The reality within the current culture is that truth, gender, identity, and sexuality are all totally fluid.
Jesus said this is like “sinking sand.” These ideals are accepted by individuals who then make homes and raise children. No wonder the family culture is sinking in front of our eyes, it is all built on sand. Children are growing up trying to find truth and identity in themselves, not in Christ. They grow up being worried about being canceled by their friends or their worst moments being displayed online for all to see. Jesus says in Matthew 7:24-27 that the wise builder will build his house on the solid foundation that is Christ.
It is so important that we emphasize truth in our homes, not the truth we feel or want to see, but THE TRUTH, the absolute truth. We will all stand before God one day and the truth will win, but this is a battle that has to start in the home where we give and teach our children truth that is built on the rock.
- Digital Addiction.
This is the first generation of parents raising children born with wifi, instant streaming, and incredibly powerful smart devices within reach 24 hours a day. Digital addiction is real and impacting mental health and well being in every demographic of society. The devices themselves and social media companies like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram were all designed to get users addicted and consuming as much advertising content as possible because that is where the money lies.
In 2018, Google issued a report “noting constant exposure to social media, emails, and news apps on smartphones is contributing to mounting stress in users who feel obligated to keep up with the latest notifications.” This is a problem. Parents are called to cultivate a lifelong loving relationship with God within themselves and their children. We are struggling as the hardened, rocky, and thorny vines are coming up to choke out all the truth and life that has been sown (Matthew 13.1-23).
In his book Analog Christian, Jay Y. Kimsays that the digital age has brought on an immense “self-centric despair.” Everyone has seen the picture in a restaurant of teens, maybe even older adults, all siting at a dinner table staring down at their devices. The more depressing image may be of the couple in bed rolled over facing away from each other staring at lit devices.
As we gather with others we often find ourselves addicted to looking down and thus inward. Every once in a while we break away from our downward and inward gaze only to return back to it as soon as possible. Kim says this downward and inward gaze is much to blame for the major increases in depression and anxiety disorders within our culture since the invention of the smart phone. The digital world has stirred up the instinct within to create a “false image of ourselves” and once we do this “we become alienated from ourselves.”[1]
This is the hardened, rocky and thorny soil of the digital age. I point to Jesus’ parable of the sower because Jesus’ point is that the truth must be sought after and understanding is the root for faithfulness in the future. If we hope to provide healthy soil for our families that reap a harvest of thirty, sixty or even one hundred fold, then we must understand the challenges of the culture we are living in. But even more so, we must understand the truth of the gospel and what kind of kingdom culture we are called to cultivate within our homes. This requires us as parents to use discipline ourselves when consuming media, putting limits where there have been none. Our kids are watching us and learning how to “cope” when we immediately escape into our phones. We must create boundaries for ourselves and those in our home.
- Postmodernity.
Postmodernity is marked not by a spirituality altogether but just one that draws lines and confines the truth to one group or perspective. The post modern ideals removes God from the equation and allows one to make choices on how they feel at the moment. This is a pluralism that of course denies absolute truth and metanarrative, but also has somehow developed its own “happy midi-narrative.”
This half narrative says…”to be happy will be realized through me being myself, and connecting to others and the universe (without harming them). As I do this, I will create a happy and meaningful life. If we all make this individual effort (everyone’s responsibility), each person’s happiness will sum into a corporate experience of unity and enjoyment. This happiness is meaningful in itself; it is the Ideal.” (Savage, Making Sense of Generation Y, 39)
The new morality for this generation is therefore a person finding and being their true self and requires us to challenge our families to find their true identity in Christ. The truth is that the gospel is offensive and should challenge us to change and become more like Christ. Our culture, however, says that we can be whoever we want to be with no accountability at all. This cannot last. This is not truth. We must stand firm. This is a fight that is worth it. Our families are being pulled and we must stand together under the authority of God and HIS truth.
Ephesians 6:10-18:
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
[1] Kim, Analog Christian, 17.
Written by: Kyle and Taran Nelson. Kyle and Taran pastor in Jacksonville, FL with their three children.
