This blog was originally posted May 19, 2023.
When did your life become a running mental checklist? As a mom of three little ones, my days can easily become one big to-do list. Laundry, schoolwork, working out, quiet time, cooking meals, cleaning, spending time with my spouse, catching up with my friends, scheduling appointments, cleaning up messes, and rushing to get to bedtime. And of course, there are always unexpected things that pop up and need my attention each day.
All of those things are good and needed to run a home, keep the family fed, and take care of myself. But if I’m not careful, my day can quickly become one big to-do list that feels exhausting. I certainly need to get things done, but hustling to get the next thing done often steals my joy.
Yes, if there’s too much hustle in my day to day, I begin to idolize the next season of life where surely there will be less hustle and bustle, right? But I know all too well that each season of life and motherhood comes with its own set of challenges. The temptation and pressure to hustle through life is constant.
Hustling and rushing through my life decreases my capacity to enjoy motherhood, be present with my family, and be still in God’s presence. That running mental checklist decreases my mental capacity to actually accomplish what’s right in front of me because I’m always thinking three or four steps ahead. I’ve learned that life is not about how many minutes are left in the day, but about my capacity for life.
I believe God wants to increase our capacity to enjoy motherhood, be present in the moment, and sit in stillness as He speaks to our hearts. I believe He wants to be involved in the list-making and how we organize our days, months, and years. I believe He gives us wisdom when it comes to our to-do lists. Yes, I believe there is a better, more sustainable way to stay in step with His spirit so we don’t get ahead of ourselves and burn out.
I believe God wants to enable us as mothers to live at a pace of grace, enjoying and embracing all He has for us and our families. And when we live at a pace of grace, we can serve from a place of grace.
So how would your life be different if you slowed down, took a deep breath, and stopped hustling from one thing to the next? What would it feel like to live at a pace of grace? What if you decided to refuse the world’s pressure to achieve things and started sitting in God’s presence to receive what He has for you? The Bible tells us that in God’s presence there is fullness of joy. “You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11 NKJV
The fullness of joy is not found in a perfect morning routine, a sparkly clean Pinterest worthy house, a hot ‘n ready healthy supper, all the laundry folded and put away (finally!), or even an ideal perfect day where all the things get checked off your to-do list.
Fullness of joy is found in God’s presence alone.
So, when we make His presence a priority, He orders our steps for the day in a way that we simply cannot do in our own wisdom. When we ask the Holy Spirit (our helper) for help as we prioritize our schedule and plan our summer vacation, we can expect Him to really help us.
Yes, we can ask for His help even in those seemingly insignificant matters of motherhood, like what kind of birthday party we should plan, or what if we should enroll our boys in swimming or soccer? God cares about the details of our lives. He cares about the details of our children’s lives.
Yes, I believe the Holy Spirit not only wants to lead us into all truth as we read God’s word, but He also wants to lead us into truth on how to mother with a sound mind. If we are going to live at a pace of grace, serve from a place of grace, and mother with a sound mind, let’s ask for Holy Spirit help…first!
Have you ever gotten stuck in a self-help cycle? It’s like when you forget about a load of clothes in the washing machine overnight. The clothes look clean, but upon further inspection- they stink!
That’s what the self-help cycle is like. Self-help might look life-changing, but upon further inspection – it really stinks when it comes to transformation.
Back to the washing machine – back to the self-help cycle. Self-help might motivate you to organize your closet or even teach you some cool “mom hacks,” but self-help won’t set you free.
Self-help won’t inform or transform you like the Holy Spirit can. The Bible says He is our helper, teacher, and guarantee of what’s to come in eternity. Living at a pace of grace requires the daily help of the Holy Spirit.
I encourage you to write down these words and put them on your mirror or coffee maker, “Less Self-Help, More Holy Spirit Help.”
Let it serve as a daily reminder to simply ASK! Ask for His help, invite Him into your day as you meal prep, plan birthday parties, and find time to sneak in a workout. Partner with the Holy Spirit as you parent, prep, and plan.
The Bible instructs us to come boldly to the throne of grace for help. “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” Hebrews 4:16 NKJV.
What do you need today? What does your family need today? Rest assured, God will help you in all times of need. Yes, the Holy Spirit is your helper.
Another key of living at a place of grace is being still in God’s presence – to be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10). When my middle son was two years old he went through a time period of sleeping horribly! He would be up at 4 a.m. asking for breakfast. It was plain exhausting. I had to stash applesauce pouches and bananas on my bedside table so he could have an early morning snack and mama could sleep a little longer.
One night he came into my room very early. I was nursing his little brother and trying to get as much sleep as possible before I started my day. But my middle boy kept tossing, turning, and keeping me up. After breakfast I said, “Buddy, you can come sleep with momma if you need to, but you have to be still! Please, be still so I can sleep longer. Momma needs her sleep!” And with the biggest brown eyes and sweetest look on his face he replied, “But momma, I don’t know how to be still.”
My heart melted, but it also quickened. I sympathized with him even in my exhaustion. Because sometimes I don’t know how to “be still and know.” There are times when it’s extremely hard for me to settle down in my body and mind and turn my heart toward God. “I don’t know how to be still, God.” Maybe that’s a prayer you need to pray today. Maybe that’s a prayer you need to pray every day!
Here’s the truth, living at a pace of grace requires stillness. And sometimes we can be so burnt out, overstimulated, and exhausted that we need God’s help to be still in His presence once more. In the stillness we hear His voice. In the stillness He reminds us that our ways are not His ways. In the stillness we feel the gravity of His grace pulling us closer to His heart. The stillness resets our pace – the pace of His grace.
Slowing down might seem impossible in this season of your life, but it doesn’t have to be. I believe God wants to help us slow down. He wants us to receive from Him before we achieve for Him. He wants us to walk at a pace of grace so we can serve from a place of grace.
He knows what we need. He knows what our children need. And He is ready and waiting to help us in our time of need- whether it’s with meal prep, organizing closets, work, play, or parenting. Allow Him to order your steps. Allow Him to slow you down. Allow Him to set your pace – a pace of grace.
Written by: Audra Powers. Audra is a writer, speaker, and homeschool mom. She lives in Largo, FL with her husband Sam and three young children. Audra loves encouraging moms to mother with a sound mind and enjoy the Spirit-led life. She spends most of her free time on the beach enjoying the sun and surf. You can read more of her writing on Instagram @helloharborhouse or Facebook @audrapowerswriter.
