As a teenager and young adult, you truly think you know it all. Your mind is forming thoughts and opinions quickly and you don’t need “old people” to tell you what to do. Now that I have been married for close to twenty years and I have three kids of my own, I find myself seeking wisdom and advice all the time. We soon realize that we do not, in fact, have it all figured out and we don’t know the best path for every situation. The older I get the more I realize that community is important, and that God’s word is literal life and breath. Psalm 119:105 has been a beacon of light and hope for me when I don’t know the way.
“Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light for my path.”
This scripture reminds me that I am not supposed to find answers in the world and that my parents and Christian friends and family do want what is best for me. Here is a short and sweet letter to my younger self.
Dear Younger Self,
You are fearfully and wonderfully made! These are not my own words, these are the words of your creator, God. The literal God of the universe loves you and created you uniquely and wonderfully. He is the best creator and he knows best. He doesn’t make mistakes. The ways that you feel inadequate are on purpose. He made you by design, not to be perfect, but to need Him and long for a relationship with him. Trust that He knows best and that you are his prized possession and unique creation.
You don’t have to do anything to earn God’s love for you! I know it seems weird, but God loves you without you bending over backwards to earn it. It is ok to want to serve Him, but please know that your worth doesn’t come from what you do! Just be with Him. I promise, it’s so much better when you approach it that way.
You are not going to be a perfect wife and mother! I tried way too hard for way too long to be perfect. I read all the books and I made myself crazy. What I learned is that the more I focused on my relationship with Jesus, the easier being a wife and mother became. I was focused on the wrong thing. Spend time with Jesus. Let Him lead you. Let him transform you.
Don’t think too much about what others think about you! One of my biggest fears for far too long was being misunderstood by others. That was a big fat lie! The truth is that I was thinking of myself way too much and that, in a nutshell, is just pride all wrapped up. Focus on being more humble and stop thinking that people are thinking about you so much. That might seem harsh, but it’s truth. Dig out and get rid of pride in your life. It roots and tangles its way into so many parts of our lives and we don’t even realize it.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable! This little truth was a game changer for me. We are taught from a young age to “fake it ‘til you make it” and while this can be helpful for some things, it is devastating for our personal lives. We think that we have to make people think that we have it all together, but people are craving REAL and TRUTH. Be that for them. I understand that you can’t tell everyone everything, but you need people that you can be totally real with and them with you.
Gratitude is KEY! So often we get caught up in comparison and we start feeling bad for ourselves. Gratitude is the thing that unlocks growth. We ALWAYS have something to be thankful for. The ability to face a really hard thing and still be able to be grateful is proof of maturity. Getting into a funk because you think you are the only one facing hard things is dangerous. You become more inwardly focused and then pride continues to breed in your life. Read the book 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I read that book and it changed me. My only regret is that I didn’t read it sooner. Make lists of things you are thankful for and verbalize gratitude to the people you have in your life. It changes you from the inside out. It locates jealousy, greed, discontentment, and so much more.
Embrace and pursue the fruits of the Spirit in your life! We can say that we follow Jesus, but we need to be bearing HIS fruit. Write these down. Pursue them. Set other pursuits aside and work on growing in these areas. Don’t pursue perfection. We all fall short. Pursue the fruit. Here they are: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Don’t judge others! Watch out! This is a slippery slope. Look up all the scripture in the Bible about judgment. I promise you will thank me!
Laugh and hug often! The Bible talks a lot about having the faith of a child. We need to laugh! It’s so good for our souls. Medicine even. I spent way too long being way too serious. Another thing to look up is the studies done on the benefits of hugs. We do a lot of 20 second hugs in our home. Watch stress go away in an instant. Look it up! You won’t regret it.
These are just a few things I have learned along the way. It would take forever to list them all, but I promise when you start the path that God sets out for you and you are obedient for each next step, you can’t go wrong.
Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light for my path.”
Written by: Taran Nelson, Executive Director, Fathom Family Foundation
