Have you ever heard the phrase “it takes a village?” One of my favorite things about the body of Christ is how we all work together in the gifts and strengths God has given us to accomplish what He has called us to do. When it comes to parenting in the digital age, we do not have to walk this road alone. Hopefully, over the last few weeks you have been equipped with information that is helpful to you as you raise your kids in this digitally obsessed culture. Now that we have admitted there is a problem and given tools to help with the problem, let’s talk about creating boundaries and building habits that will benefit your whole family. This will also give you confidence to help those in your community who might be struggling with the same things in their homes. The more we talk about these issues with fellow believers, the more we can help one another fight the battle before us. The Bible clearly tells us that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, and we need to be fighting this battle with the right tools. 

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

-Ephesians 6:12

Building Habits and Creating Boundaries

We make our habits then our habits make us. It is important that we build healthy habits around this topic. Research shows that it takes more than 21 days to create a habit so do not be discouraged if you start out on Monday trying to break a bad habit and it’s not fixed by Tuesday. Keep at it and before you know it you will have created new pathways in your brain and formed new habits. We also need boundaries for our safety and wellbeing. There is a reason why there are guardrails set on the side of the road. It helps us to stay in the lane. One of the ways you can create guardrails in your home for digital boundaries is to do it with your children. Ask them what they think a reasonable time-frame is to be on a screen. We did this with our oldest child who was playing a game on the computer. You would be surprised to see the reaction when you include them in the process. You are still the ultimate decision maker, but involving them in the conversation can be huge. They see that you trust their opinion. When we asked our son what he thought, he stopped, gave serious thought to it, and gave a reasonable response.

Kids need and love boundaries. It is our responsibility as parents to put guardrails up for them.

We also need to set up personal boundaries and guardrails for ourselves. Leaders lead the way, and as a parent you are leading the children in your house. “More is caught than taught” is a catchy phrase, but it is so true.

Your children are watching you and what you highlight in your home becomes the habits of your children.

You can set boundaries for your kids all day long, but if your actions don’t match up, they will know. It is not just healthy for your kids that you have digital boundaries and habits. It is also going to benefit you as well. Let’s ask a couple of questions to get your mind going on boundaries in your own home.

• What boundaries are you thinking about for yourself?
• What small habits can you plan to do to create those boundaries?
• Do you need to move your phone off of your nightstand?
• Do you need to delete a couple of apps?
• Do you need to put guardrails on your social media usage?

Talking about it is the first step. Setting up guardrails and boundaries is the way you can ensure your success. We also want to give you a helpful resource called the Digital Game Plan so that you can make choices as a family and have a plan moving forward.

Check out the Digital Game Plan here. Download. Print. Use!

Written by: Members of the Fathom Family Team, including Kyle Nelson, Laura Riggleman, and Taran Nelson.